To start with: China is not easy to understand, not linguistically, and also not sexually. Linguistically, it痴 obvious. Not only is learning the Chinese mode of writing much more effort than learning any other mode of writing. Spoken Chinese is also so tone-dependent and so idiomatic that you won稚 get very far, even in a full year of study.

Sexually, China is difficult to understand because it spans a wide array of phenomena. It痴 also not as poor and traditional as other countries in Asia, and it definitely has its modern sides. Furthermore, there are clear regional differences.

To sexually understand China, it is best to look at specific groups of people and their frames of mind.

1. Parents and the older generation in general: in much of China, apart from some Southern border regions, parents and the older generation think that young Chinese women should marry Chinese men that are of the same age or just a few years older. Only in some poor Southern regions would parents happily accept a foreign man into their families. That most of the older generation is against liaisons with foreigners, is a feature China shares with Japan and Korea. Only in Cambodia, the Philippines, and Indonesia are foreign husbands a status-plus for local families.

2. Young women and girls: the majority of the Chinese population, including the young women concerned, think that young women should marry between 21 and 23. While in traditional China, women were married off at a much younger age, this is not legally possible in China today because the marriageable age for women is set at 20. They can稚 marry earlier than that. Between 21 and 23, young women get easily married. When they are 25, they will already be subtly urged by their parents that it is about time to marry. And when they are about 27, they will be criticized for not being married. This can put considerable mental pressure on young women. Even when young women are attracted physically to foreigners, they will often refrain from entering a sexual relationship, simply because they are convinced that foreigners do not make good marriage partners, and that they easily divorce their wives. This is a very common fear among young Chinese women.

3. Young female amateur prostitutes: they populate chat sites such as QQ, but for the foreigner, getting into contact with them can be very difficult, as they normally do not speak or write English, or, for that matter, anything else but Chinese. If one uses Chinese internet cafes regularly, one can meet them personally. They are used to getting expensive gifts, plus good cash money. They don稚 care what the older generation thinks. They are very materialistic, and they often are financially smart, not just wasting the money they earn

4. Chinese men: over the past few decades, many Chinese men have most probably been rather faithful. Poverty and lack of affordable alternatives meant that they were usually happy with what they got: the first woman they married. Chinese men are less inclined to marry more than once (unlike, for example, men in Thailand or, on a more limited scale, in Indonesia), or to have live-in arrangements after a failed marriage (again like in Thailand, or like in the Philippines). However, as China gets richer, more and more men, when they are among those who get richer, are inclined to grant themselves extramarital pleasures, or more than one woman (including marrying more than one, without the knowledge of the first one) Unlike in Christian and Islamic countries, there is no religious constraint to this tendency. The Chinese are basically atheists.

5. Young married women of successful men: They are under enormous pressure to keep their men sexually interested in them. They think it depends on remaining as beautiful as they can be, but of course, they are wrong. Successful Chinese men are unfaithful not because their wives would prematurely grow ugly. They are unfaithful, simply because they want change. It痴 a trend that strongly feeds the young amateur prostitutes, cited under 3, or the mistresses that are recruited in nightlife establishments.

6. Young women of broken up marriages: Many successful Chinese men eventually do get rid of their wives, and it痴 often the wives who proceed to the separation. Chinese men who are sexually bored with their wives may slide into treating their wives carelessly or roughly. On the one hand, once a Chinese woman is married to a Chinese man, the man doesn稚 have to be afraid that the woman runs off easily. For Chinese women at this time, it is still a great loss of face to be divorced, and possibly even to have to bring up a child (usually just one). Thus, Chinese wives are usually willing to endure a lot of maltreatment. But still, they only can take that much, and as they feel they are increasingly unwanted by their husbands, they do eventually file for divorce. Once they are divorced, they have a very hard time to find another Chinese husband. These divorcees form a pool out of which foreign men in China have an easy time selecting, both for short-term relationships and for marriages. If a foreigner does marry such a divorced Chinese women, he will get a wife that is grateful, loyal, very industrious, and all too willing to make life for her husband as comfortable as ever possible. A foreigner courting such a women doesn稚 have to be young, good looking, or rich. He just has to be nice. If a foreigner in China indeed is good-looking, and willing to charm divorced women, he can easily make a living concentrating on this activity.

7. Rather ugly, especially big, Chinese girls or young women who have not been previously married, and who have not reached the critical age: they largely react in the same manner as divorced young women or young women for whom a marriage is overdue. They are more likely to speak English, as they often are aware that they may have better prospects targeting a foreigner as marriage partner. Parents of rather ugly Chinese young women will be less likely to object against a foreign spouse, as they themselves know that they haven稚 sired a beautiful daughter that would easily find a husband.

8. Young, or not so young, women, often divorced, with a definite sexual interest: They often target foreigners for sexual encounters, for two reasons: a) they are aware that Chinese men look down on them, and therefore want to avoid them (even when these men show sexual interest), and b) because foreigners often have better sexual techniques than Chinese men. You値l always find such women at the hangouts of expatriates (apart from the prostitutes who also frequent such places). And this is where non-Caucasian men (men of African and Indian ethnicity) often rank higher than Caucasians.

9. Girls below the age of 20 that are very friendly towards foreigners, and excited to make friends. I list them here, because foreigners will meet them. However, they usually have no sexual intentions (not with the foreigners anyway, as their definite intention is to marry a young Chinese men). They haven稚 been disappointed yet sexually, and usually would not assume that a foreign man they befriend has sexual interest, but they are eager to practice their English.